They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? We look at some money tips for couples.

Being out of sync with your life partner in terms of dealing with money can place undue stress on a relationship – whether you’re just involved, living together, married, or re-marrying.

Here are ways that you, as a couple, can improve your relationship with money.

While dating

• Pay attention to your partner’s financial habits. Just because your beloved is a lot of fun does not mean that (s)he is financially responsible. Before you commit yourself, learn how your partner handles the big issues of real life, including financial matters.
• Discuss your dreams and goals with your partner. Almost everything you will do during your lives together will cost money. Make sure your partner’s goals are compatible with yours.

• Before moving in, have a discussion with your partner about leases, household expenses, and other important matters before you make your decision.
• Draw up a living-together agreement.
• Clarifying your intentions in writing will help you to avoid misunderstandings and costly disagreements later. In most cases, such a written agreement will be enforceable in court.

• Create a workable structure for your financial lives. Who will be responsible for paying bills, filing invoices, researching large purchases?
• Celebrate your differences. If one of you is a saver and the other a spender, create a budget that allows for both. If your partner is a bargain-hunter, put him/her in charge of the spending part of the budget, while you invest the savings.
• Confide in your partner. Keeping financial problems to yourself is destructive to the openness and stability of your relationship. Discuss your worries with your mate and ask him/her for practical suggestions and support.
• Rank your financial priorities. Where your individual goals coincide, make a list of the steps it will take to accomplish those goals. Where they collide, figure out which you can live without and how to combine the rest with your partner’s plans.
• If you haven’t already, now is the time to prepare your Will and MISA can help you with preparing a Last Will and Testament or a Living Will.

• Have regular “money meetings” to discuss your financial situation, dreams, and goals.
• Use this time to brainstorm creative solutions to problems and generate ideas to improve your future.
• Work with mate’s personality, instead of against it. One of you makes financial decisions instantly, while the other one deliberates for days. One of you hates paperwork, while the other has anxiety if everything isn't documented completely and perfectly. Focus on a positive outcome, not the method of travelling.
• Don’t ignore your partner’s needs. It may not be important to you, but if it’s important to your partner, it’s important to your partnership.
• Treat your partner as a business associate, not a dumping ground. Hear what your partner is saying, consider it, and respond.

• Talk about the money differences you had with your prior spouse. That way, your new mate will learn more about you and will know where you are coming from when differences arise in this relationship.
• Be polite to your partner’s ex-spouse. He or she is the lion at the gate guarding your partner’s relationship with his/her children. Don’t indulge in vengeful or petty actions that may keep you from your larger goal of a happy stepfamily.
• Don’t let the children come between you. It takes special vigilance to keep children from prior marriages from fueling disagreements. Discuss in advance how you will share responsibility for children who live with you and how their expenses will be handled.

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